she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
