i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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