The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
