This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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