you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
