if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize