I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
