i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize