I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
