my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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