i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
