She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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