Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
