I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
