was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
