She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
