NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
did i just pee glitter
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