I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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