I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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