when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
