could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
