Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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