Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
