Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I fill condoms, not promises.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
