Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
