I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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