The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
