I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
