Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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