Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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