after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
