his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
