there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I would ride that face into the sunset
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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