Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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