My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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