My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
