Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
