a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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