Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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