so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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