Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
home. puking in laundry basket.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
