I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
