Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have aggressive nipples.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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