Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize