peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
