It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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