It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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