so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
