Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She bit a glass in half.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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