Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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