My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
