I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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