That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
