Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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