Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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