i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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