The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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