yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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